To new beginnings.....And 7 months later.....

Where did 2011 go??the question we ask ourself every year without fail,hardly a blink and it's almost a year,feels like yesterday i was in Mukah celebrating new year and now it's almost ending.This year will definately go down in my history,such an important one,A very dear long lost friend turned out to be the guy of my dreams,the person i'm going to spend my whole life with.Am i scared,am i sure people ask???hell no,i'm not scared,not even a little,i'm honestly looking forward to a new chapter of my life.Sometimes it's really just meant to be.I'm just so lucky i found a guy i thought would not exist,he's terribly sweet,kind and the most important thing is he loves me so much,i know he'l do anything for me,and so would I :)

Career wise,cant believe i'v been in paediatrics for a year,passed my exam,more to come though,still so much to learn,but slowly absorbing,making baby steps improvement in knowledge,i'm so happy,it truly is fullflling seeing the patients you treat walk back home,or the one's who were scared of you in the beginning cling on laugh at the stupid noises and faces we make and give that sweet innocent smile,ahhhh,how could anyone resists,especially the 4year olds ;P

I ran a marathon,haha it's only a quarter,but still it's a start,finished it and even won something in the process:)Will try harder for another run next year,see if i can make it for the half marathon....

I managed to see more places,some just local but it's still places i hadn't been,aiming for more next year,even if it's only in Sarawak.

I'm glad things happened how it was supposed to happen,i know i cant turn back time,and i think i don't really want to as well.Next year is going to be wonderful,new starts,lovely first's,good times and bad times are going to be spent together.I cant wait.....

For now i'm just really looking forward to spend my new year holiday with the one i want to grow old with :)) Merry christmas and a Happy New Year !!!!!

At batang Ai

And He's The One ????

Well you don’t know or put it this way you would never know,or then again would you??For years I’v always been bombarded/heard/discussed this,never really found the answer though.I love my romance novels,everyone expects the guys to come out like that,hmmm but do we ever find one in the real life???

So then early this January I met an old form six friend,we’d found each other last year thanks to facebook,did keep in touch a bit,and I was really curious about him because the last we met was over 7years back.I guess that was because I went to med school and india and he was here, so circumstances were such we just lost touch.Really wanted to meet him last year but was really busy with work and could only finally see him in January.

We met in Starbucks(yummy coffee), was actually on my study break,I admit I was nervous,I mean we’ve all grown up but meeting someone new is always something very intriguing,all these thoughts go in your head,what’l he think of you,do I look alright.But yeah when I saw him,it was a whoa moment.We had a wonderful dinner,managed to catch up on everything we missed this last 7years,and it was just amazing that there was this chemistry…..

Hmmm,now comes the scary part,I would know much later that this guy has liked me for 11years,till this day I think that’s something just crazy,way out of this world,I mean who on earth can like someone so much for that long.But the thing is I kinda knew that was the truth because he had something of mine from 11years back,something only a few people would know and keep,but it means a lot to me.All those times we dated other people,fell in and out of love,grew up,matured a lot but the most important thing was we both learnt to love and be happy and comfortable with ourselves first and only then this came by,just feels like it’s the right time……

So yeah from there despite the fact I was in sibu and he was in KL we managed to see each other at least once a month,he had work,I had work,we were both busy, but we found time to spend with one another.There was the phone calls,facebook messages,small things,things I’l always rememeber .

Eventually he asked me officially(ahhh May24 at Café Barbara-Coffee again)and I said yes,seriously who wouldn’t,he made me his number one priority,he got me a book  copywritten under my name(I found out much later),he’s always been honest,I know what a very  strong and a terribly loving person he can be,so even though I’m 11years too late I’m being very selfish in saying I’m so happy and lucky it was me.It’s something I never expected,never thought possible but it’s here and I’m greedily just sucking it all up,he always says it’l get better,and I’m always saying NO it won’t :P.When someone asked me so Sang is he the one??I didn’t hesitate when I said…….yes :) You see you’l just know it,at least that’s how I felt

So yes you know who you are,thank you for coming into my life and for loving me,we’re going to have a great number of years together.HAPPY 100 days love !!! It's only the beginning :))

the liquidator&the doctor

My Two Cent's On Housemanship

These day's when i go to work my bosses,colleagues keep complaining about housemans.Even in the news,medical blogs.I guess times are different,there are a whole lot of them now as compared to before.But the thing is just by complaining are we really solving anything??

I think even most of us forget that housemanship is the time they're actually suppose to be learning as well,sometimes i don't think we're teaching enough or even setting a good example's.I believe a good houseman would make a good MO and a good MO would make a good specialist,respect has to be earned if people don't respect you, stop pointing fingers,reflect on yourself first.Contrary to what people think,being a doctor is definately not the toughest job in the the world,especially these days,it's just because generally we have been used to having an easy life,mum and dad always around,and suddenly we're on our own,making life changing decisions,working long hours(it doesnt help with all the private medical schoold mushrooming of course).

It's tough yes,the long hours,no food at times,being at the bottom of the whole work pyramid.But it's not impossible.Remember what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.

I'm happy that there are a few new doctor's who are reading my blog,i really hope it helps and inspires them a little, because i know it's a really long process that2years, that is if one does not get extended,but the thing is life's tough as well,every single stage of it.I mean if you have gone through 5years of medical school i'm sure you can do this as well.Just learn as much,don't be afraid to leave home and work somewhere else

And the most important thing that would get you through those long hours,on-calls is empathy,we need to love our patients,treat them as how you would you own mother or father,grandparents or siblings.They have needs and wants as well,some times although it's easy for us but it may not be so for them.Especially something i learnt more here in Sarawak where logistics is a major problem with no proper roads,boats timing’s to consider.

This adorable girl in Chiang Mai

Lastly I’m sure the new batch of doctor’s would do great as long as they have the right guidance and the right attitude,no matter what they say about the number of doctors,here in east Malaysia somehow we have yet to see the numbers,sometimes we are still quite short.So choose wisely and do a great job :)

This is how i survived mine
http://lostsarawakdoc.blogspot.com/2009/12/earthly-wisdom-from-houseman-whos.html

It starts with Hello :)

I haven't been blogging much,been quite occupied this last month not really with work,but with my own life,found out how good life can get and things which you never plan and thought would never happen just happens,it's part of life i guess,and i absolutely love surprises.This new found happiness does not come your way everyday,and i'm definately not going to let it go,it means a whole lot to me,only some would know,and i would treasure it forever.

It's something some people search a lifetime for and surprisingly not many actually find it.Life's about being true to yourself,working hard towards goals in life,never giving up despite circumstances,making mistakes,staying as positive as you can,not judging,teaching other's if we can and loving with all your heart.

If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine.     

- Morris West -

                  

*Sunshine*

When a new chapter in life starts,i guess you always think it's never possible,but life.....ahhh....it's just so full of wonderful surprises i guess,learning,growing up it's all there.so here's to life,the present,future,and living :)

A Birthday, Enlightenment, and Achievement of Nirvana

As a child, Siddhartha the Buddha, was troubled by some of the same thoughts that children today have. They wonder about birth and death. They wonder why they get sick and why grandfather died. They wonder why their wishes do not come true. Children also wonder about happiness and the beauty in nature.

-Attaining Nirvana-

Because the Buddha knew what was in the hearts of children and human kind, he taught everyone how to live a happy and peaceful life. Buddhism is not learning about strange beliefs from faraway lands. It is about looking at and thinking about our own lives. It shows us how to understand ourselves and how to cope with our daily problems. 

Let me share some of my favourite quotes of his



Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Buddha

It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
Buddha

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.
Buddha

Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
Buddha

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.
Buddha


Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Buddha

'Stupa"Candi Borubudur,Jogjakarta

Went to the buddist temple for the first time in Sibu,the Tua Pek Kong temple ,by the rejang river.Gave offerings,prayed and left.Starting to find peace with myself lately,there's a certain happy,smiley feeling lurking around these days,and i'm not complaining at all,just one day at a time:)

Mukah - Pesta Kaul , Road Trip

Yes yet another wonderful sarawak adventure and road trip.This time the trip to Mukah was not for work but just to relax and be touristy,enjoy the sea ,aggghh bliss :) Wow the roads have imrpoved tremendously since the last few times,2yrs back it took almost 3hours through the plantation road,this time it only took one.Guess no one is actually gonna say that the roads to Mukah's a death sentence from now on....Hmmm hopefully the roads from Sibu to Bintulu would get better,say in the next 5 years (cough,cough...ELECTIONS,hint,hint)

So ya left around 2pm from sibu after work, 2 cars and the 6 of us(From various districts Song,Marudi,Saratok).Was post call,dead tired but really energized somehow with the thought of leaving Sibu even if it was just for a day.

Stopped for lunch at the Selangau rest-stop,huge place for mainly busses,lorries on their way in the never-ending Sarawak roads

L-R(Cindy,Justine,Easwary,John and Lorraine)

The wonderful new Mukah roads,heavenly to drive,haha i couldnt stop telling them how much i loved the roads,i cant help it,had a nightmare journey 2yrs back:)

Reached our Hotel by 4pm,Kingwood Hotel,bit far off from the town,ermm huge place but not many occupants really,yeah and my friends were teasing me that i was worried we couldnt get room,well i did think it was Kaul and many would come:)

View from the room:)

 

So off we went in search of the beach which hosts the pesta Kaul,the hotel is a bit far from the town around 10mins away

finally the beach :P

 

Missed the opening by one week,damn:(

'TIBAU' is what Kaul is really famous for -

The focus of the whole festival is the tibau or giant swing on which local youths defy danger as they swing in clusters high above the sand. Some locals claimed, at night, when the beach is deserted, the tibau moves by itself as the ancestral spirits get in the swing. Tibau aims to find out how many contestants can jump from a 20ft scaffolding and cling on to a rope - at the same time.
The tallest part is an inverted V-frame of two resilient hardwood poles. Four massive rattan cables ran from the apex to tether it to the ground, holding it upright. Another rattan cable, looped at the end to form the swing, hung down from the apex to reach the ground by mere inches.
The tibau is completed by a wide, angled rack nearly three storeys high with rungs every metre or so. It doubled both as a grandstand and springboard for the game. No nails are used in a tibau frame, for the spirit believed to inhabit the tibau does not favour metal.

Tibau

Spent sunset near the hotel,had a wonderful sea-food dinner by the river side on the house courtesy of my Mukah friends,agghhh tht's life,super exhausted but so worth tht 2hour trip

sunset by the hotel

sunset

 

'Lamin Dana'

Visited a traditional village house the next morning before heading back,it's used as a home-stay,quaint place with a river 'Lamin Dana'

'hello mr boatman'

spot on

miniature tibau

Overall a well spent 24hour road-trip with good food,great friends and yes the so much better roads

Happy Mother's Day 2011

Reality check....

 http://www.amaroksociety.org/products/mothers-day-cards

 


It's true there's no way we could all be here if it wasnt for our mother's .They always say nothing can compare to a mother's love and dedication,and that's something quite true.Of course it shouldn't be just this day that we show our love and appreciation,but still i guess it's there for a reason,it's a day for mother's to feel extra special and knowing the entire world is celebrating mother's out there regardless of race,religion,colour,sex,whether they're a single parent or just anybody else who is a mother.

 

I still believe mother's hold they ultimate key in shaping the future,they're one of the toughest people in this world.So yes Happy Mother's Day mummy,i'm so proud of you and i could never thank you enough for all you've ever done,i love you so :)

Love you:)

She Got Treated :))

This refer's to

http://lostsarawakdoc.blogspot.com/2011/01/unassuming-yet-interesting-girl.html

She went to Kuching and got treatment for her cancer,and she's feeling much better now.I think we should all be really happy for her....

Truthfully when i got the text from her i was relieved,she had her own feelings,opinions so i wasnt sure if she'd go ahead with it,but i'm really,really glad she did.I'm happy that i tried convincing her.It's true we can't force people to do things they don't believe in,and yes it doesn't always work out the way we want to,but the thing is if we don't try we woulnt know and it's not wrong to give some advice within our field,there is a reason we got trained,our profession's do not limit us to what we do at the hospital/at work,i feel it should be expanded out as well within reasonable reason's.

These day's we worry about legalities,"oh no i'm going to be sued if it doesnt come out right",and yes everybody take's care of our own need's first,but what happens to things like humanities,just caring or that little bit of help,not necessary to the less fortunate,it could even be a friend,our world needs that too sometimes.

:)

SIBU MARATHON DAY !!!!

Wah finally the day came,ermm not a clear and bright one,very dark and heavy drizzle kind.But yeah i did it,ran 10km in an hour,i'm so proud of myself,it's only the first time,think it was good.Although not many participants for the men and women open,apparently most joined the 7km fun run.But wow i'm happy i finally got the feel of the atmosphere,hmmm think i'm having the marathon bug :P

Guess it was worth waking up at6am on labour day despite not going to work.


The best part of it all,i really proved myself wrong,it's not what you can't achieve it's about what you can:)
My friend and my prize money was very well spent with the others in the post run meal:)) That was truly the best part of it all.....

yummy ice kacang at gerai no 6 in Sarikei

"The mile has all the elements of a drama."
Sir Roger Bannister

Sarawak Elections 2011

I guess i should blog about it since :

1) i'm experiencing it first hand by being here  all the poster's,'ceramah',campaining,sudden interest in the  people ( It works out for them since most of us have a short memory )
2) It's almost as big as the national elections
3) There's of course so much hype about it
4) Although i'm not registered to vote here indirectly somehow we're all involved in it (it might be a safe thing that i'm oncall on the 16th)

So yeah amidst all this i think the one thing which i will remember about this election is not the ridiculous poster's which make them look like lost models,nor the 'gathering's',or people building a bridge out of no where(regret not taking the picture)..........

But the poor pilot who died yesterday in a helicopter crash,amidst ferrying politicians,i heard and read the story,i saw the poor guy,i saw all the politicians and reporters and the hype in the hospital.It was a very sudden,freak accident i guess,but yeah he's young and leave's behind quite a few loved one's.It's quite a scary thought that most of us here actually take the very same helicopter's on MEDEVAC's,FDS(Flying doctor's Service)  for various reasons.So i would like to post this as a tribute to the Captain although i never knew him personally,may he rest in peace and may his family,wife and children remain strong throughout.

http://www.theborneopost.com/?p=118438

A moment of silence.................

Finally A Marathon ???

Haven written inawhile,quite a bit happening with myself, sarawak,the world these days,but just don't feel the burning desire to write about all that now.

So i saw this poster in a Sibu coffee shop in town which said Sibu Mini Marathon.Wow finally,never thought Sibu actually had one.Ermm it's really mini only 7km,but what the heck everyone starts somewhere right??eventually one day i'l do a 26km,so it's baby steps for now.I love to jog and run so why not just join for the fun of it.It is a really positive thing to do anyways.


When through a website cause i thought i might as well get some guidance,got lots of inspiration and encouragements from friends who've done it,i was still thinking can i really....So what the webpage asks

By the way, why do you want to do this? Don’t let yourself off by stopping at your first answer! Dig deep!

    So i'v dug deep and i think i just want something new and positive to focus on,rather then worry bout the problems i face,cause they're actually really trivial.It's so easy to give excuses for our own actions/behaviour but it's not always right.I guess this is just me.I see these marathon runners and i think they're really disciplined and motivated,i'm sure i could try and cause lately i like to prove myself wrong i think i will.


So yeah the countdown starts from today till 1/5/2010 lets see where i get to,shall rant occasionally of course.


"We run, not because we think it is doing us good, but because we enjoy it and cannot help ourselves. The more restricted our society and work become, the more necessary it will be to find some outlet for this craving for freedom. No one can say, 'You must not run faster than this, or jump higher than that.' The human spirit is indomitable."

- Sir Roger Bannister-  first man to break the four minute mile

Happy Women's Day !!!!

Before the day comes to an end best to commemorate this day,something which i truly believe in,not being a feminist but just believing in women knowing and holding on to their rights in today's world.Loved this paragraph i read in the paper's by Ivy Josiah ( Women's Aid Organisation Executive Director )

'When I am asked how my social consciousness was awakened, I tell them that it was a nun, Sister Anne, who was my teacher, who encouraged me to ask questions. That was how I first came to believe that a woman’s life should be about choices and not just accepting anything given to, or thrown at, her.'
So once again my prayers to all the strong,independent,courages,gorgeous women out there especially the single mothers,may they stay positive and be blessed forever

May we strive towards millenium development goal number 3 promoting gender equality and empowering women :)

One step closer

Finally some fantastic news,getting one step closer to achieving  my dreams.Thank you to everyone who played a huge role :)

"Can't stop grinning sheepishly" 

And Just Like That It's over

Went for 1 but fought 2 battles instead,i did my very best for both however i can.so we'll just wait for the results, i guess it would be a lie to say if it wasn't a little awkward or sad.But it's in a different way now.The past should just be left where it should be.I found a very interesting inspiration/idea amidst studying,will try to work on that and hopefully it would be inspiring to other's as well

"Here's to making good memories , not good choices "

It start's Now .....

And the time has come to start calls in paeds , how do i feel , hmmm actually not as scared as i should be i guess,probably cause i have my exams as a distraction.Just like that it's already the 3rd chinese new year i'm celebrating in sibu,where did time go ??? But never before in any other place have i seen people play that much of fire-works,hoping i'l get to see it from the hospital,with the kids.

On the brighter side after so many years my collegues all get to be off for their reunion dinner,finally a non-chinese in the department :) works both ways cause i wouldn't have to fight with anyone for deepavali and other holidays either.Have a very motivating and dedicated team of specialists and collegues,so happy to have joined them finally.

So we shall see what happens tomorrow,good or bad it'l be another milestone in my future and the journey continues.

"Have a prosperous RABBITY new year " and have an orange or even a carrot on me:)

 

Home :)

Home is where the heart is and a house is where we live ( Go figure)

My mother the artist doing what she loves

This is me with nothing much inspiring to write about, and just bored  in the midst of preparing for exams,can't wait for it to finish though.Can't say i didn't enjoy the week,in fact just the opposite,probably enjoyed it a little too much,hmmm

The unassuming yet interesting girl ....

This post is long overdue.It's about the girl i met during my speedboat adventure to mukah

http://lostsarawakdoc.blogspot.com/2010/12/relieving-mukah-speed-boat-experience.html

She was a very pretty chinese girl,around my age i guess,with her mum and dad.The nice people whom i met at the wharf.Said she just got back from KL,working and living in Mukah.

We started talking while waiting for the boat to leave.She was interested that i was a doctor.She said she was on TB meds for the last 6months for a chronic cough taken at the local hosp,despite the fact that it didnt get better.She was travelling up and down to Sibu private hospital to get second opinions,mind you the roads from mukah to sibu are horrible.could understand her predicament.

She said after the scans they found that she actually had lung cancer,i was truly shocked,in my mind thinking how is it possible for her to get it,she's so young.She continued her story saying she went to KL for a second opinion,at a very expensive private centre.Doctors confrimed the diagnosis with a biopsy,told her she had to do a lobectomy(removing part of the lung),but she was not keen

So after all that she tells me she had enough,she wants to try traditional medication,coz she's scared of the operations.Oh oh alarms start going off in my head,have heard this before so many times and contrary that miracles do happen i'v seen horrible outcomes.

I spent 2 hours trying to convince her that even though she doesnt want the op at least try the chemo or radio.Explained that she still had her whole life ahead of her,her parents and family to think of,she should at least try and not give up without a fight,there must be a reason god wanted her to find out early.Told her to come see me in the hospital so i can refer her to the oncology in Kuching.Even told her i understand the 5stages of grief and how difficult it must be.My mum went through the same thing when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and after all the surgeris,chemo and radio,she's back to her usual self.


I thought i was making progress,but she smiled very sweetly and said she'l try but she's busy.Looking at her i knew i was losing the battle,in desperation i gave her my number to contact at any time.Waited for her a whole week,even msgd to remind but she never came,said she was busy,I guess after this i can only pray for her.

In despair

Few issues here :
1.Again because of the distance and lack of facilities i feel the people are totally shortchanged,i mean if we(the government) have proper screenings facilities,better roads could her mind have been changed.She's terribly frustrated and i can understand she had to travel all the way from Mukah to KL for someone to tell her that she had a terminal illness,which i think is very unfair.After all the running around  she's just tired from all that.Dont get me wrong she has an absolutely positive outlook of life,if i were her i dont think i'l be half as strong,but it was so sad
2.People in Sabah,Sarawak and the rural areas deserve better
3.I'm still in contact with her though she still has not sought treatment yet,i will continue to try,just hope it would not be too late

Unlikely Coincidence

Hmmm call it fate , an unlikely coincidence , when you think you understand people so well they can really surprise you,is that for the better maybe.Seems quite intriguing so i'm definately interested to see how things goes.Things happen for a reason :)


If your wondering it's a personal feeling that's been tugging,might be good or turn out horrible,shall just wait and see

Empowering women

Ladies, let’s make a difference!

I FELT truly empowered reading about Zainah Anwar in A sister steps out (StarMag, March 30) and I really look forward to reading her column (Sharing the nation, in the Sunday Star) in the future.
Although I am not an activist, I do know about gender equality issues but I have always thought that what I have to say will not make a difference.

My sister once told me, “Don’t just think your thoughts, write them down... just because 10 people don’t share the same ideas, that doesn’t mean 100 others don’t either”.

From recent experiences, I have come to understand the plight of women who live with invisible strings attached, holding them back from voicing opinions and making themselves heard. I am truly irked at some people who feel women should not question but just listen.

I feel the people who can make a difference in changing how society treats women are mothers.
If mothers can teach their children – be they boys or girls – from young to respect others equally, that would shape their attitudes when they grow up.
Stop blindly following “culture”. Don’t tell your daughters they can’t be successful just because they are female. Instead, encourage them to strive to reach their full potential.

gTo the women out there, this is my advice: do not simply conform to traditional rules of society and culture. You have the ability to think logically, to question, and know right from wrong. So, exercise that ability!
Of course, we may have some limitations – be they physical or emotional – but that should not stop us from being successful, from fighting for what we believe in, and from not letting people take advantage of us.
It’s hard, yes. But, it’s not impossible.
Dr Sangeetha Siniah, Subang Jaya, Selangor

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/4/6/lifefocus/20845642&sec=lifefocus&cid=0&ei=o2_4R-esEY30yAS5m4DVDw&usg=AFrqEzeLp4F_7VjNk0AB2XIeWRQd_JYZH 


It's been 2 years since i last wrote this , i still feel the same way about it.Felt like sharing :)

In Pursuit Of Happiness :)

Hello 2011 , It's been a first great day of the year.Was reminded of things i should be proud off.And i started the day travelling,although it was an escort patient from Mukah to Sibu.I must say the roads are so much better then 2years back and heard by next year it will be completed.


I smell something politically fishy behind all that,but then again what would i know,i'm after all "just a small tiny government servant" cough,cough.Guess at least the people here would benefit.At least maybe more children can go to school.Something about the Millenium Develepment Goals,hmmm.

Anyway much to my surprise i had a great time in Mukah,the people are so friendly,patients will be patients but they are so gratefull for whatever little we do,makes me very humbled.Will not forget the amount of fish i had,the yummy grilled meat,good company,good singing:P and the wonderful seaside view.Something my friend said  Being a district doctor is truly being a people's doctor,not just treating the rich,you get satisfaction in doing what you want,because you also see the results(must remember that especially when times are tough)

So cheers to all the district doctors,i shall be joining them quite soon :)

Mukah,awesome view don't you agree??