http://lostsarawakdoc.blogspot.com/2010/12/relieving-mukah-speed-boat-experience.html
She was a very pretty chinese girl,around my age i guess,with her mum and dad.The nice people whom i met at the wharf.Said she just got back from KL,working and living in Mukah.
We started talking while waiting for the boat to leave.She was interested that i was a doctor.She said she was on TB meds for the last 6months for a chronic cough taken at the local hosp,despite the fact that it didnt get better.She was travelling up and down to Sibu private hospital to get second opinions,mind you the roads from mukah to sibu are horrible.could understand her predicament.
She said after the scans they found that she actually had lung cancer,i was truly shocked,in my mind thinking how is it possible for her to get it,she's so young.She continued her story saying she went to KL for a second opinion,at a very expensive private centre.Doctors confrimed the diagnosis with a biopsy,told her she had to do a lobectomy(removing part of the lung),but she was not keen
So after all that she tells me she had enough,she wants to try traditional medication,coz she's scared of the operations.Oh oh alarms start going off in my head,have heard this before so many times and contrary that miracles do happen i'v seen horrible outcomes.
I spent 2 hours trying to convince her that even though she doesnt want the op at least try the chemo or radio.Explained that she still had her whole life ahead of her,her parents and family to think of,she should at least try and not give up without a fight,there must be a reason god wanted her to find out early.Told her to come see me in the hospital so i can refer her to the oncology in Kuching.Even told her i understand the 5stages of grief and how difficult it must be.My mum went through the same thing when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and after all the surgeris,chemo and radio,she's back to her usual self.
I thought i was making progress,but she smiled very sweetly and said she'l try but she's busy.Looking at her i knew i was losing the battle,in desperation i gave her my number to contact at any time.Waited for her a whole week,even msgd to remind but she never came,said she was busy,I guess after this i can only pray for her.
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| In despair |
Few issues here :
1.Again because of the distance and lack of facilities i feel the people are totally shortchanged,i mean if we(the government) have proper screenings facilities,better roads could her mind have been changed.She's terribly frustrated and i can understand she had to travel all the way from Mukah to KL for someone to tell her that she had a terminal illness,which i think is very unfair.After all the running around she's just tired from all that.Dont get me wrong she has an absolutely positive outlook of life,if i were her i dont think i'l be half as strong,but it was so sad
2.People in Sabah,Sarawak and the rural areas deserve better
3.I'm still in contact with her though she still has not sought treatment yet,i will continue to try,just hope it would not be too late
Why do you fear death so much? Its as if none of us are going to die. I am not condoning lost of life, on the contrary, I encourage living. But my definition of living is 'embracing all that is positive in this material world'. In a material world, loss of the essence of existence is normality. From this perspective, she lives on and on, in the world of the unmanifested. So, dont grieve for her. And don't grieve for yourself either, you have shown tremendous strength and courage by putting everything behind you, and contributing for the true improvement of society.
ReplyDelete- A friend who knows you, but can't reach out to you in normal ways due to circumstances
My friend,thank you,i guess i fear death because i believe death is something which should happen in the end and we should at least fight for it while we still have a chance at life.
ReplyDeleteBeing a doctor and coming face to face with death everyday in different circumstances is probably what makes me grieve for her.I believe if i didn't advise/give her options i wouldnt be doing justice to the reason i became one.
I wish i could do what some are doing and just treat,but contrary treating is the easiest part it's the emotions and consequences that come before and after which is the hardest.But still whatever decision she makes i would respect that and be there for her as a friend,if she'd need one :)
And that is why Love and God, are of the same dimension. Your love for her is a vibration that pervades existence, the same one that keeps us going through thick and thin... the same vibration that powers hope, despair, suffering and happiness.. If you have the time, let me recommend this book.. great read.
ReplyDeletehttp://theyogapathtransforms.com/Documents/The%20power%20of%20Now-%20Tolle.pdf
Take care
- 'friend'