Life we didn't know.....

It's 7am,a saturday morning.You wake up listening to the sounds of the ambulance outside your window.You ask yourself everyday why do i have to live in the hospital,of course ur voice tells you back,where else do you expect to stay,your not in the city your in some rural district in sarawak.You have no LIFE.

Eveything revolves around the hospital.Yesterday was friday a full working day plus you were doing passive call(standby for any emergencies,escorting unstable patients/intubated patients to the nearest referral hospital - sometimes upto8hours journey by whatever transport you can think off ambulance/boat/helicopter).

Even after escorting you come back to see a full outpatient clinic( 150patients all eyes staring at you ).You look at them in you head you cursing them,why must you come today/this week.But they don't know you only have 2doctors running the whole hospital,doing back to back calls because another MO is on leave/on course.Then u think again WHY ME,why was i sent here,to this place,why cant they give us more doctors,how do they expect us to manage.

Even before you can think or pity yourself,you hear the dreaded phone ring.SHIT i havent even brushed my teeth.It's your MA,"Boss ada RTA case",u say u'l be there soon,then in your head you start cursing again(why must there be holidays,why must they drink and drive,why cant they leave me alone).

Oh and by the way today i'm doing my active call(Need to see all the new cases,handle all the ward problems,do the dreaded c-section,refer the cases to the referral hospital's)basically the person incharge of the whole hospital.

You attend the case,send the patient off to the referral hospital for a CT-brain.Attend to a few more cases in the emergency.It's 8am you Go to the wards,finish ward rounds,dischage as many patients as you can,refer the cases.

At 11am you come back to your quarters,have a quick shower,eat as fast as u can,try and do some laundry.

1pm - Before you know it they're calling again,thank GOD i'v eaten,this time a 3year old with asthma and what looks like influenza like illness,you tell the parents you want to admit the child but they say NO,it's the holidays,after explaining/re-explaining(although on your head u just want to hit some sense into them)they finally agreee.Phew.....

You go home to try and get a short nap,because there's nothing much else you can do,ur constantly in fear of that stupid PHONE call,praying that there wont be more cases.

Just as ur about to dream of that house by the beach,your dream job taking care of an island like Ben Southall the phone rings."New case boss- Maternity".You think to yourself havent i been praying hard enough,maternity cases are the hardest,it may seem relatively easy but if something goes wrong it goes wrong badly,worst part is there's 2 lives in your hand.So once again you go,scan the mother,so far ok baby's not too big,her OS is only 2cm dilated.

Of course in the emergency there were a few more cases waiting.
By the time u get back it's 7pm - another quick dinner,quick bath,surf the net.Attempt to rest.Ringggggggggggggg,that damn phone again,by now your just too tired,your body is aching,u have a headache.Your nurse says it's the mother earlier,the delivery is not going smoothly.Immediately ur adrenaline is back,you tell them to call the poor passive call MO to standby and get ready for c-section.

After assesing yourself,consulting with the specialist via phone you proceed with the c-section in fear again.Your passive call MO looks exhausted,u feel guilty but then again tomorrow that might be you.Thank god everything goes on smoothly.Both baby and mother are good.

It's already 2am,now your literally crawling back to your quarters,fatigue just wearing you out.This is already my 4th every other day active call,i still have 3 more to go,how am i going to do this.Even the money is not enough to tempt me,i just need my rest.....Praying the phone doesnt ring....still thinking where am i heading to....Thinking the whole cycle will repeat tomorrow...zzzzzzz



#This post is dedicated to those in the district's,it's not even axaggerating,i havent even done district posting but this is what my freinds go through,this is through the eyes and ears of an observer,it's very real.It's not easy when there's no one to watch over your back and very scary.There is no such thing as social life,quality of life,your so overworked you start thinking is all this even worth it anymore,is this why i became a doctor,it's very sad but true.Hopefully with more doctors coming out the maldistribution will even out especially in Sabah and Sarawak,otherwise it's going to be the same all over again#